By Dan Holmes And 'holiday' is a strong word. 'Observance' is probably more accurate. It comes with all the commercial trappings and marketing induced expectations you can want. It is one more reason to depart with your money under the guise of 'relationship'.
I still believe that and that's how I treated this day for many years. It was unfulfilling.
What I also believe now ... That is a perspective based on only my wallet's perspective. The other part of this observance is also made up. It is made up by me. I get the opportunity to make it exactly how I want it. Notice these two perspectives are not in conflict. I can and continue to believe that Valentines as a commercial endeavor is still made up AND I believe I can use that as an opportunity to celebrate with my spouse. And even more, I can choose how to do that.
So what do I make up now? I find the least expensive card there is with the most whitespace inside. Then I write a message inside that expresses how much and how my wife enriches my life and how I genuinely want to enrich hers. In Dr. Wilder speak, how much I am glad to be with her.
Additionally, I will find something we can share. Maybe that is a nice dinner, either out or in. Maybe that is an activity like a movie or theater experience especially if I can remember something she has mentioned she would really like to do. Depending on the day of week Valentine's falls on, this might or might not be on the actual day, regardless of which day we have checked our calendars and made an agreement with day we will celebrate our 'Uniquely Us'.
More important than 'the day' is how the other non-celebrating days of the year are. It's very difficult to celebrate a harmonious relationship that doesn't exist. That too would be made up so it is keeping with the theme but isn't spirit of 'oneness' that God intended. For this celebration to be a true expression, your everyday 'glad to be with you' needs to be tangible. It needs to be felt and authentic to you. This is an important distinction. If your expectations lay on a foundation of something you aren't (Disney fabricated prince and princess for instance) then you are destined to be disappointed.
Critically assess what's real about you and our and celebrate that. Focus on what's good and then accept what isn't as real and set a plan to change towards an reasonable expectation that fits who you are collectively (remember Uniquely Us). Watching that growth will give you something to celebrate. Your made up observance will be integral to who you are and the growing wholeness and completeness you are experiencing will be manifest in the expression.
And it will all be made up.
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